Tears

I used to look in that mirror and try to focus on the tiny words of a distant hope in that small corner amidst the pain and devastation that encompassed my being.

The eyes I no longer recognized as my own would drift over to those words every morning and night, sinking with every letter, belief remaining completely invisible.

They stopped briefly and met his, unrecognizable through the blur of tears that had become all too custom, only because he forced them to in his desperation to pull me out from under the suffocating cloak of misery.

I looked back long enough to let him save me, but never really saw them.

Those same eyes watched the faces of mediocrity fade in and out from day to day, discerning nothing, stopping for nothing, holding out for nothing.

The images had never moved more slowly, yet they had never missed more, everything seen yet left unseen.

But then there was you.

You stopped my eyes in their tracks of desperate defenses.

And they met yours.

What was it about them? Was it the blue, the brightness shining in a world that someone else had left painted gray? Or was it the gray buried beneath that matched the color of that world of my own, a piece of you that you shared with me left behind from a pain that you deserved no more than I did?

Or was it the glimmer of hope that neither of us had known in ages, so distant and unrecognizable that it left us chasing after the distant figure in an attempt to touch it just once? To touch each other just once. It was a force so strong that it drove us toward each other, fighting from day one. I don’t think either of us knew quite what we were fighting for. But we did know that there was something missing from our eyes, from our souls, and we knew the other just might have what we needed, a broken piece that fit perfectly into the one we had been carrying for far too long, finally freeing us from those jagged edges and the defenses we’d built to protect ourselves against them.

Hanging By A Thread

We can't take anymore
But I don't see either of us leaving

I don't want to touch you
But our lips keep meeting

I don't want to scream
But I can't seem to stop the fight

Maybe I figure if I try hard enough
Then maybe you just might

Come through for me
And show me there's something left

Show me that there's good
Underneath this mess

That we've created
What have we done?

We're still fighting a battle
That we should've already won

At least, that's what you told me
But they told me you were wrong

And that that was something
I should have known all along

And what if I say I did knew
And that I thought about leaving

That I thought about taking my heart back
While I had the chance, while it was still beating

Because I didn't know how much
Strength I had left to keep it going

When I knew there was no way to
Keep it intact as long as I kept moving

Be it towards you or away from you
So now you can see this rock and hard place

That has begun to encompass what we have
So at this point should I even bother trying to save face?

Should I just be who I am
Instead of who you need me to be?

Showing you that what you will find when you look at me
Is nowhere close to what you want to see

So would you rather have me
Or have what you need?

I like letting you pick the titles : )

In them I see the blue that shines as bright as our souls
When they meet in a union so perfect it makes words fall short

And the gray that comes
The beauty in the midst of the pain

The pain that should know
No place in this story

But I am willing to give it a place
As it lays out the perfect backdrop for them

To tell the story of the beautiful brokenness
That you knew before this

And the beauty you show me
Amidst this painful battle

The captivation in those moments of gray
Drives me to find the blue again

I fight for them in this
So that I can read our story once again

Watch them change as you change
Watch them change as we change

Learn about love and hope
And pain and joy

Because in them I see everything
Through them I see everything