Strong Girl

To: JP
Love: LB

From the little girl in pigtails
To the poetic teenager
Who is growing day by day.
From the dancing princess to
The environmental freak.
From the girl who was never special
To the one who's most precious.
Now she’s the big girl who can’t fit
On daddy's "loving" lap any more.
She’s becoming her own person
and it’s all thanks to you-
For making her strong in her views
and happy with herself.
Creating her with confidence in
whatever she chooses to endeavor.
Thank you for always being there,
when she needs you most.

I love you.

Beauty from Pain

They've come to believe that she
Wears her life on her sleeve

But it lies within
The scars just underneath

Almost invisible, as faded as
The scar has become over time

Delicately written in a language
That few will understand

You felt it with your hands and lips
As she replayed it for you

As gently as if you were
Holding her very heart

Her words poured like
The tears from your eyes

You could feel your heart strings
Moving with every sound

Playing a song
Only the two of you could hear

Leaving you lost in its beauty
Leaving you lost in her beauty

Tears

I used to look in that mirror and try to focus on the tiny words of a distant hope in that small corner amidst the pain and devastation that encompassed my being.

The eyes I no longer recognized as my own would drift over to those words every morning and night, sinking with every letter, belief remaining completely invisible.

They stopped briefly and met his, unrecognizable through the blur of tears that had become all too custom, only because he forced them to in his desperation to pull me out from under the suffocating cloak of misery.

I looked back long enough to let him save me, but never really saw them.

Those same eyes watched the faces of mediocrity fade in and out from day to day, discerning nothing, stopping for nothing, holding out for nothing.

The images had never moved more slowly, yet they had never missed more, everything seen yet left unseen.

But then there was you.

You stopped my eyes in their tracks of desperate defenses.

And they met yours.

What was it about them? Was it the blue, the brightness shining in a world that someone else had left painted gray? Or was it the gray buried beneath that matched the color of that world of my own, a piece of you that you shared with me left behind from a pain that you deserved no more than I did?

Or was it the glimmer of hope that neither of us had known in ages, so distant and unrecognizable that it left us chasing after the distant figure in an attempt to touch it just once? To touch each other just once. It was a force so strong that it drove us toward each other, fighting from day one. I don’t think either of us knew quite what we were fighting for. But we did know that there was something missing from our eyes, from our souls, and we knew the other just might have what we needed, a broken piece that fit perfectly into the one we had been carrying for far too long, finally freeing us from those jagged edges and the defenses we’d built to protect ourselves against them.

Hanging By A Thread

We can't take anymore
But I don't see either of us leaving

I don't want to touch you
But our lips keep meeting

I don't want to scream
But I can't seem to stop the fight

Maybe I figure if I try hard enough
Then maybe you just might

Come through for me
And show me there's something left

Show me that there's good
Underneath this mess

That we've created
What have we done?

We're still fighting a battle
That we should've already won

At least, that's what you told me
But they told me you were wrong

And that that was something
I should have known all along

And what if I say I did knew
And that I thought about leaving

That I thought about taking my heart back
While I had the chance, while it was still beating

Because I didn't know how much
Strength I had left to keep it going

When I knew there was no way to
Keep it intact as long as I kept moving

Be it towards you or away from you
So now you can see this rock and hard place

That has begun to encompass what we have
So at this point should I even bother trying to save face?

Should I just be who I am
Instead of who you need me to be?

Showing you that what you will find when you look at me
Is nowhere close to what you want to see

So would you rather have me
Or have what you need?

I like letting you pick the titles : )

In them I see the blue that shines as bright as our souls
When they meet in a union so perfect it makes words fall short

And the gray that comes
The beauty in the midst of the pain

The pain that should know
No place in this story

But I am willing to give it a place
As it lays out the perfect backdrop for them

To tell the story of the beautiful brokenness
That you knew before this

And the beauty you show me
Amidst this painful battle

The captivation in those moments of gray
Drives me to find the blue again

I fight for them in this
So that I can read our story once again

Watch them change as you change
Watch them change as we change

Learn about love and hope
And pain and joy

Because in them I see everything
Through them I see everything

From Before to Now

You gave me your heart
And we went back to the start

Before all this pain
Before you tucked it away

Hidden from the world
And its sea of loneliness

And I found a way inside
Through all the brokenness

You set your heart
In my hands

As if you knew all along
That this was His plan

Even if love is all we have right now
Maybe all that matters is this moment

Or every moment since the second
You realized you weren’t completely broken

The moment I saw
That smile on your face

And the joy that came
From finally feeling safe

So run way with me
Just take a chance

Don’t give the world
A passing glance

Even when they say
I have a choice

Because the truth is when
You came I lost my voice

The only words
That would flow

Were those of a love
Like I’ve never known

In Your Hands

There's something about you
That makes me break all my rules

I'm laying my heart out as yours for the taking
I'll risk anything to stop yours from breaking

So I'm putting forth all my strength
And showing the world how much I can take

And I don't have anything to prove
But we've got two lives we could lose

And they see this too
So they ask us to choose

So you sit beside them in that bar
As familiar as always, but never this hard

You could go back to easy
But we can’t picture leaving

So you stay with me
And ride it out

Because, somehow, these words
Always manage to overcome the doubt

It's a phenomenon
I'll never understand

I guess it's a good thing
I let go of all reason

When I put my heart
In your hands

Just Within Our Reach

I know nothing
Of this world

There is nothing I can
Come to understand

There is nothing
I want to understand

About this place
That left her broken

I know not of
What they know

I know nothing
Of this place

I know no reason
Only, does she love me?

I know no right and wrong
Only, will this make her happy?

The only hope I know
Is for our future

My only plan
Is to stay

I hold nothing
But her heart

I possess nothing
But the words

That rest within this tattered soul
That’s too old for this body

I have everything I need
I have everything she needs

I will take her away to a place
Where my love surpasses all of this

We will run from the world
Not out of fear

But because of the knowledge
Of something so much greater

Lying just within
Our reach

You're On My Mind

I'm sure you've been
Waiting for something

But what time and energy I have
Is going into that letter

So don't worry
I'm still writing for you

I'll always be writing for you.

Chains

I hate ultimatums
I hate asking you to choose

I hate coming to the realization
That I may not be invincible

I hate the thought that
There is still so much to lose

You say I'm perfect, but
I'm really not that strong

I may be able
To say and do

All the right things
But for how long?

My love may be unwavering
But so is their resistance

And I may even
Handle it better

If there was
A little distance

Instead I have to stand two feet away
And not reach out my hand

I have to watch you cry
Knowing I can't offer my arms

All because they
Refuse to understand

I'm not asking for approval
And I never will

Even though I earned it when
I was finally given the chance

But really
What has changed?

Is that supposed to
Make me happy?

So what they're smiling at me
When the tighten the chains?

Making The Moments Last

My steps are lighter
And my smile has faded

But I still won't take off
These shoes or that bracelet

I can't hear your words
But I can read them on my walls

I can't see you, but I can see that space
In my closet where my jacket belongs

I can't hear you sing, but
I can listen to the songs

I can't hold you
But He can

And I trust that our blessing
Is a part of His plan

So open your Bible
Twenty-six times

Open the blog
Twenty-six times

Put on my jacket
Twenty-six times

Put each CD in
Twenty-six times

With these things
Take each day on

Enjoying these moments
Living for these moments

Until we can
Make our own

Try to make
Them last

Until they become a part of
Our broken yet beautiful past

Not Our Forever

I can't stop them from
Breaking your spirit

But I can promise
To mend it

I can't stop them from
Taking away everything

But can promise
To give you what you need

I can't tell you
They won't come after you

But I can promise to hold
Your hand through the storm

You will not just be safe
You will know comfort

You will not just
Have what you need

You will have everything
You've always wanted

You will not just survive
But you will live

All I ask
Is that you

Hold on to my words
A little tighter than theirs

And I will promise
To keep them

This is not our forever
It is simply part of our walk

I'm Still Here

They've knocked us off our feet
So let's lay here forever

They've broken us down, so let's
Put each other back together

They're trying to teach us
But we have nothing to learn

There's no such thing
As a love you have to earn

They've broken my heart, but you
Still have a piece in your hand

And because I know I will see it one day
I will comply with their demands

And I know from where I am
I can't offer much

But when they push you
Just feel my touch

When they yell
Just hear my words

When they try to tell
You what you deserve

Remember the truth
In my voice

Remember that soon
You will have a choice

When the tears fall at night
Know that I am by your side

When you can't sleep
Just feel my heart beat

Hold on to the sounds of my breathing
And promise you won't stop believing

I can't give you
A world without pain

But I can offer
You an escape

Just give me a little time
And I'll give you my life

We Needed Saving

I swore I'd never
Write when I was angry

Because these words
Aren't just my diaries

They are there
For the world to see

And for
You to see

But didn't I
Start this to cope?

So wouldn't it be more
Hypocritical to not write?

I guess I figure that
It's easier for you

To forget the
Bad sides of me

When they're
Not in writing

And besides
This isn't profound

This won't
Change your life

And it won't
Make you cry

At least not
In the good way

I know that
Venting or leaving

Aren't my
Only options

But I don't like
The in between either

Yet that has
Come to encompass

So much of
What this is

I am constantly in the
Confusing throws of limbo

Where fear, stress
Anxiety, and worry dominate

Do not misunderstand
My love

I do not
Say these things

To imply any
Fault of yours

You did not
Cause this

You would stop it
If you could

Such an odd
Idea though

Because if you
Could stop it

It wouldn't be
Worth fighting for

To add to
The irony

I ask for
Very little

But what I
Do ask for

Those few things
Are the few things

That I
Can't have

That you
Can't give me

At least
Not right now

So I'm
Left waiting

I didn't
Have patience

Before
You came

But you didn't
Have emotions

Crazy how we
Jerked these things

Out of
Each other

An exchange
We both needed

And never wanted
But wouldn't trade

For
Anything

Because somehow
Broken together

Seems to make more sense
Than whole apart

I guess we were never
Really whole before

We were just
Living in

The blissful throws
Of ignorance

Having no idea
We needed saving

A Month for A Month

As I watch
The sunrise

I start to see
My doubts subside

It started with
The sounds of breathing

And almost ended with
The sounds of screaming

We've been torn apart but
We'll always be one

I don't have to see
Your tears to hear them

You don't have to hold my hands
To feel them shaking

This is new
To me and to you

This is nothing
Of what we know

You don't cry
I don't wait

But we took the leap
Leaving what we knew behind

So if you're in
I'm in

If you'll jump
I'll jump

What do
You say?

A month
For a month?

A Move for Love

My heart
In your hands

My words
On your mind

My card
In your pocket

Your life
Before your eyes

Your future
By a thread

Your heart
In your throat

Our pockets
Are empty

The tunnel
Is long

And the
Light is dim

Our eyes on
Each other

Because there's nothing
Else we can see

So we run
From all this

We jump into
The unknown

Wanting the best
Expecting the worst

If you jump
I jump

My life is yours.

"Soar With Me?"

I didn’t just
Lose myself

Everyone else
Lost me too

I lost the person
I once was

Nothing made
Sense anymore

And then
You came

My parents got
Their daughter back

My friends got
“JP” back

You gave me
My life back


But not the life
I once had

A new life
With joy

That I’ve
Never known

With love
I’ve never known

I never thought the world
Would spin again

But then
I realized

That it was never
Really spinning

I thought that I
Had found joy

In that
Complacency

But now
I know joy

Now I
Know love

I suppose
I should

Welcome this
New reality

I suppose
I should

Stop questioning
How this happened

And just be
With you

And just soar
With you

The Days To Come

On the days you can't
See beyond the devastation

I will dry your eyes
Until it all becomes clear

One the days that
My love's all you see

I will show you that it's
All that's worth looking at

On the days you can't move
I will lie beside you

On the days you can't go on
I will go for you

On the days you
Can only go an inch

I will walk the rest
Of the mile for you

On the day you can no longer
Carry the weight of the world

I will take it
On my shoulders

On the days when their
Criticism becomes too much

I will pour out my soul
Until my words are all you hear

On the days when you feel
Like you've lost it all

My love will remain

Beautiful Irony

I've never experienced such great
Disappointment or such great joy

I've never been
Let down harder

But I've never been
Lifted up higher

I've never had a greater
Reason to walk away

But I've never had such a
Strong reason to stay

I will stand my ground
While I take the beating

I won't defy the rules
But I will defy reason

I won't ignore my emotions
But I will ignore the odds

I can't give a reason
Other than love

Do I need another?
Is there another?

I've never felt more
Irrational or more right

I've never experienced
Such perfect imperfection

I Won't

I won’t leave
If you won’t

I won’t stop fighting
If you won’t let me

I won’t give up
If you don’t

I won’t walk away
If you don’t let me turn around

I won’t let go of your hand
If you keep holding mine

I won’t stop loving
If you don’t stop believing

I won’t stop looking
If you don’t turn away

I won’t stop talking
To you like this

If you don’t
Stop listening

I won’t give up
If you promise

To stay with me
On this rollercoaster

On this beautiful ride
That we’re calling life

I can’t promise you easy
But I can promise you forever