I'm certainly afraid of dying
But what is it that scares me?
Is it the unknown?
Or is it the thought
Of losing the ones
I have left?
Am I ready to leave behind
The one I call my soulmate?
Don't I want to hang around
For another mixed CD? Another checklist?
Or another late night
Filled with frustration and laughter?
Am I ready to leave behind
The one who saved me
When she
gave up the job?
Can I leave that
Place and person of comfort?
The one who has proven
They would do anything
To keep me afloat
Even wrestle me to the ground
The one who has provided me
With a safe place to go
When I am no longer
Safe from myself
Am I ready to leave behind
The one I've helped through the same thing?
How could I abandon them
After all of that?
How could I be
Such a hypocrite?
And what about
The ones who said,
"If you go,
I go"
How can I jump
Knowing I would
Take you down
With me?
I may not have
A life left to live
But I know
That you do
And I can't
Take that from you
And I can't bear
To take the hope
Of those
Who would stay
I don't want
For a second
For them to feel
The way I do everyday
