I can tell when I'm
Starting to sober up
Because you seem
Like less of a memory
And seem more
Real to me
So if I can't
Go any further
I just
Try to sleep
But then I realize that
You are with me more in my dreams
Than you are when I'm awake
And of a decent state of mind
So it's crazy to use
Sleep as an outlet
But at least then
I can't control it
That's a little better, right?
Or is it?
Am I ever
Really in control?
It seems as though you are
The only one in control
And to think you said
You wanted less control
Over my life
And that's why you left
So much for doing the right thing
So much for being better off
That seems to be
What you thought
That seemed to be
What your friends said
Back when they
Were being honest
Back before they
Got caught up
In the drama and lies
That have been started
Since you
Walked away
And I won't
Blame you or I
I will just attribute it to the fact that
The would just can't spin properly when we're not together
Things just aren't right
I'm just not right
I hope this happiness
Isn't completely real
And that you are feeling
Some of what I'm feeling
That you know deep down
Something in your life isn't right
And that that something
Might be me
Because we were all the other knew for so long
We had a home. We had plans. We had a life.
When was that no longer enough?
When was I no longer enough?
And was there anything
I could do to fix it?
Half of me hopes
That there was
So I have
A reason to believe
But half of me
Hopes that there wasn't
Because then I would
Have a reason to regret
And I don't think I could
Take one more negative emotion
That could be just enough
To push me over the edge
I hope not, because I made
Promises about not leaving
But then again
So did you
And I always claim that
You're twice the person I am
So what would accepting that
Make me look like?
Can I even look
Any worse without you?
Can I even look
Any more broken without you?
