Not Our Forever

I can't stop them from
Breaking your spirit

But I can promise
To mend it

I can't stop them from
Taking away everything

But can promise
To give you what you need

I can't tell you
They won't come after you

But I can promise to hold
Your hand through the storm

You will not just be safe
You will know comfort

You will not just
Have what you need

You will have everything
You've always wanted

You will not just survive
But you will live

All I ask
Is that you

Hold on to my words
A little tighter than theirs

And I will promise
To keep them

This is not our forever
It is simply part of our walk

I'm Still Here

They've knocked us off our feet
So let's lay here forever

They've broken us down, so let's
Put each other back together

They're trying to teach us
But we have nothing to learn

There's no such thing
As a love you have to earn

They've broken my heart, but you
Still have a piece in your hand

And because I know I will see it one day
I will comply with their demands

And I know from where I am
I can't offer much

But when they push you
Just feel my touch

When they yell
Just hear my words

When they try to tell
You what you deserve

Remember the truth
In my voice

Remember that soon
You will have a choice

When the tears fall at night
Know that I am by your side

When you can't sleep
Just feel my heart beat

Hold on to the sounds of my breathing
And promise you won't stop believing

I can't give you
A world without pain

But I can offer
You an escape

Just give me a little time
And I'll give you my life

We Needed Saving

I swore I'd never
Write when I was angry

Because these words
Aren't just my diaries

They are there
For the world to see

And for
You to see

But didn't I
Start this to cope?

So wouldn't it be more
Hypocritical to not write?

I guess I figure that
It's easier for you

To forget the
Bad sides of me

When they're
Not in writing

And besides
This isn't profound

This won't
Change your life

And it won't
Make you cry

At least not
In the good way

I know that
Venting or leaving

Aren't my
Only options

But I don't like
The in between either

Yet that has
Come to encompass

So much of
What this is

I am constantly in the
Confusing throws of limbo

Where fear, stress
Anxiety, and worry dominate

Do not misunderstand
My love

I do not
Say these things

To imply any
Fault of yours

You did not
Cause this

You would stop it
If you could

Such an odd
Idea though

Because if you
Could stop it

It wouldn't be
Worth fighting for

To add to
The irony

I ask for
Very little

But what I
Do ask for

Those few things
Are the few things

That I
Can't have

That you
Can't give me

At least
Not right now

So I'm
Left waiting

I didn't
Have patience

Before
You came

But you didn't
Have emotions

Crazy how we
Jerked these things

Out of
Each other

An exchange
We both needed

And never wanted
But wouldn't trade

For
Anything

Because somehow
Broken together

Seems to make more sense
Than whole apart

I guess we were never
Really whole before

We were just
Living in

The blissful throws
Of ignorance

Having no idea
We needed saving

A Month for A Month

As I watch
The sunrise

I start to see
My doubts subside

It started with
The sounds of breathing

And almost ended with
The sounds of screaming

We've been torn apart but
We'll always be one

I don't have to see
Your tears to hear them

You don't have to hold my hands
To feel them shaking

This is new
To me and to you

This is nothing
Of what we know

You don't cry
I don't wait

But we took the leap
Leaving what we knew behind

So if you're in
I'm in

If you'll jump
I'll jump

What do
You say?

A month
For a month?

A Move for Love

My heart
In your hands

My words
On your mind

My card
In your pocket

Your life
Before your eyes

Your future
By a thread

Your heart
In your throat

Our pockets
Are empty

The tunnel
Is long

And the
Light is dim

Our eyes on
Each other

Because there's nothing
Else we can see

So we run
From all this

We jump into
The unknown

Wanting the best
Expecting the worst

If you jump
I jump

My life is yours.

"Soar With Me?"

I didn’t just
Lose myself

Everyone else
Lost me too

I lost the person
I once was

Nothing made
Sense anymore

And then
You came

My parents got
Their daughter back

My friends got
“JP” back

You gave me
My life back


But not the life
I once had

A new life
With joy

That I’ve
Never known

With love
I’ve never known

I never thought the world
Would spin again

But then
I realized

That it was never
Really spinning

I thought that I
Had found joy

In that
Complacency

But now
I know joy

Now I
Know love

I suppose
I should

Welcome this
New reality

I suppose
I should

Stop questioning
How this happened

And just be
With you

And just soar
With you

The Days To Come

On the days you can't
See beyond the devastation

I will dry your eyes
Until it all becomes clear

One the days that
My love's all you see

I will show you that it's
All that's worth looking at

On the days you can't move
I will lie beside you

On the days you can't go on
I will go for you

On the days you
Can only go an inch

I will walk the rest
Of the mile for you

On the day you can no longer
Carry the weight of the world

I will take it
On my shoulders

On the days when their
Criticism becomes too much

I will pour out my soul
Until my words are all you hear

On the days when you feel
Like you've lost it all

My love will remain

Beautiful Irony

I've never experienced such great
Disappointment or such great joy

I've never been
Let down harder

But I've never been
Lifted up higher

I've never had a greater
Reason to walk away

But I've never had such a
Strong reason to stay

I will stand my ground
While I take the beating

I won't defy the rules
But I will defy reason

I won't ignore my emotions
But I will ignore the odds

I can't give a reason
Other than love

Do I need another?
Is there another?

I've never felt more
Irrational or more right

I've never experienced
Such perfect imperfection

I Won't

I won’t leave
If you won’t

I won’t stop fighting
If you won’t let me

I won’t give up
If you don’t

I won’t walk away
If you don’t let me turn around

I won’t let go of your hand
If you keep holding mine

I won’t stop loving
If you don’t stop believing

I won’t stop looking
If you don’t turn away

I won’t stop talking
To you like this

If you don’t
Stop listening

I won’t give up
If you promise

To stay with me
On this rollercoaster

On this beautiful ride
That we’re calling life

I can’t promise you easy
But I can promise you forever

Embracing Heartache

Nothing seems to be
Turning out like we planned

Nothing is how we’ve
Been expecting it to be

But at the
Same time

Isn’t that the story
Of our lives?

Did they turn out
Even close to

How we had
Expected them to?

You weren’t looking for love
And I didn’t expect to find it

Every heartache
We’ve ever experienced

Brought us here
To this part of our lives

So I think we must remember that
While we experience the heartache

And the frustration
That this is bringing

We must remember
That hard times

Are what brought us
To where we are

And I can’t imagine
Being anywhere else

So let’s embrace
The heartache

And look forward to
Where it will take us

Together

Time to Start Living

It’s hard for me to forget what
Everyone else wants to remember

I just want to leave
The past behind

Because they don’t remember
What I remember

They didn’t see
What I saw

They didn’t experience
What I experienced

I want to be rid
Of that part

Talking about it
Remembering it

Will only take away from
What I’ve been given now

And yes, throwing that away
May cause me to throw

Some pieces of
Myself away

But I can
Honestly say

That those pieces
Aren’t meant to stay

Who I was
Is not who I am

Where I was is
Nowhere near where I am

And I just want
That to be known

I put in my time
I did my grieving

Now it’s time
To start living

Proving The World Wrong

I think the reason why
I hated cliches

Was because I thought
That they didn't really exist

Heartache was an expression
Butterflies didn't exist

Love at first sight
Was for the movies

No one ever feels
This way this fast

But it didn't take me long to realize
We had just the right kind of cliche

The kind of true love
That defies all the odds

The kind of love that most people
Wouldn't dare to hope for

The kind of love that you
Didn't dare to hope for

Just the sound of each other's
Voices gives us butterflies

Our hearts ache when
We leave each other

The sound of the other's
Breathing puts us to sleep

It took me seconds
To fall for you

It took me days
To realize it was love

I want nothing more from each day
That to spend it with you

Yes, it defies reason
It defies the odds

But I say
Screw the odds

I no longer care
What the world thinks

About our cliche
About our love

Let's prove the world wrong together.

Stop Trying to Hold It Together

I tried to keep it together
When I saw you for the first time

I tried to keep it together
The first time you smiled at me

I tried to keep it together
When I was asking you to be with me

I tried to keep it together
When I kissed you for the first time

I tried to keep it together
The first time I saw you cry

But I'm starting to realize
That I'll never be able to keep it together

And I don't think
You will either

So let's both give up
Let's both stop trying

Stop trying to hold it together
In this storm we've brought about

Stop trying to hold it together
When they try to break you apart

When they try
To break us apart

Stop trying to hold it together
When you're heart's telling you to let go

If the world crashes down around us
If my love's all you can see

Just fall apart in my arms
I'll hold you together

I'll hold us together

Change

From a friend...

It’s so cold inside
When pretty soon there will be nowhere else to hide
From what everyone else thinks of me
Because it’s so plain to see
What I am isn’t what you expected
Don’t be so quick to reject it

It’s a cold world
When you’re all alone
She’s just another girl
That I brought home
Doesn’t mean she’s here to stay
But I have to say
I’m just not likely to change

Tears in my eyes
As I asked her to stay
Covered the facts with lies
And then just threw me away
If you weren’t happy
Then neither was I
There will be someone else
But for me it won’t be a guy

It’s a cold world
When you’re all alone
She’s just another girl
That I brought home
Doesn’t mean she’s here to stay
But I have to say
I’m just not likely to change


I’m coming out
I can hide it anymore
I’m gonna shout
No fear or remorse
I’m living my life
The best I know how
I know I’m right
Because everyone knows now

It’s a cold world
When you’re all alone
She’s just another girl
That I brought home
Doesn’t mean she’s here to stay
But I have to say
I’m just not likely to change

I Miss Everything When It Snows

I asked you
For a butterfly

But what it took me
So long to realize

Was that you
Sent me snow

Twice
Instead

And now I remember
That we had two reasons

For loving
The snow

One was because
It had become ours

We took something
That the rest

Of the world
Was experiencing

And made it
Our own

A marker of the first day
Of the rest of our lives

But now I remember
That we thanked you guys

That morning when
We woke up

Is that why you
Sent it that day?

Were you trying
To give me hope?

Or were you trying
To help me let go?

To help me start the first day
Of the rest of my life?

What would the two of you
Say if you were here?

I feel as though you would have
Never wanted us to fall apart

That you would have felt that it
Was too soon for us to leave each other

Just as we felt it was
Too soon for you to leave us

Without You

Without you
I feel

Like a runner
With a broken leg

Like a student
Without a mind

Like a writer
Without a pen

Like a counselor
Without empathy

Like a Christian
Without a soul

Like a friend
With nothing to give

Like a lover
Without a heart

I can't help but feel
That this is slowly

What I'm becoming
Without you

Wasted on Someone Else

I'm honestly sorry
For everything

Even the slightest
Bad things that happened

Even the slightest
Pain I caused you

I will be the first
To say I wasn't perfect

But know that I never
Wanted to cause you harm

And I would have given anything
To make you happy. Anything.

And I still would
To this day

I never wanted
To hurt you

I know why
You left me

And I can honestly say
That I have truly changed

I don't say that with expectations
That you'll come back

But just to let you
In on the truth

I am not that
Person anymore

I would never be
Depressed with you again

You would never
Have to experience that

So I'm not asking
For you to come back

But I am saying that you're reason
For leaving no longer exists

That person
No longer exists

I know I can be better
Given the chance

And I would hate for that
To be wasted on someone else

What is Love?

I tell myself
To hold on

Just another day
Just another moment

To survive just
A little longer

But what am I
Holding on to?

What do I have left
To keep me going?

What is life
Without love?

What is love
Without life?

What is love
Without mutuality?

What good
Does it do?

What is my love worth
Without you being there

To love me
Like I loved you?

Can't Live Without Dying

You told me to end
My desire for numbness

Telling me that
If I achieved it

I wold be desperate for
Any feeling, even pain

I don't know if you were
Just looking out for me

Or if you honestly
Thought you were right

If you honestly had never
Experienced pain like this

A pain so great
A pain so overwhelming

That only numbness
Can mask it

And even hat
Does a mediocre job

Yes, I do
Desire feeling

But I can no longer
Feel without pain

My heart can't
Beat without breaking

I can't live
Without dying

That Day

I can't tell you
The day I'll die

But I can tell you
The day I stopped living

I can't tell you the day
My heart will stop beating

But I can tell you the day
It was broken beyond repair

The day I was
Broken beyond repair

I can't tell you the day
My soul will enter heaven

But I can tell you the day
It left my body

There isn't much
Left of me

If you ask me what
I can no longer do

I will
Say "nothing"

But on the
Same note

If you ask me
What I can do

With passion
With soul

I will
Say "nothing"

I am alive, but
I am not living

My heart is
Still beating

But I wish
It would stop

I see no reason for
Why I am still breathing